Infertility … The Sacred Journey

by Sonia Wright, MD | Board-Certified Radiologist, Sexual Counselor, Life Coach

I have experienced infertility from both the perspective of a medical practitioner as well as that of a patient. As a trained radiologist, I’ve been the doctor using ultrasound to evaluate a patient’s endometrial thickness and ovaries and I have also been the woman on the table hoping there were enough follicles in my ovaries for an IVF cycle. I accepted that infertility treatment was a medical process that I would have to tolerate in order to fulfill my dreams of becoming a parent.

"I could have chosen to see the process as a miracle unfolding before me, my unique path to create new life."

It was only years later that I realized I actually had a choice as to how I experienced my infertility treatment. I chose to see the journey as something I had to endure, but I could have made a choice to experience the treatment differently. Instead of choosing to see this journey as one of dis-ease and medical intervention, I could have chosen to see the process as a miracle unfolding before me, my unique path to create new life. I could have seen the process as profound and sacred. A sacred journey that could allow me to ultimately honor my body, my relationship and my sexuality.

Many women undergoing infertility treatment start to believe that their bodies are somehow broken because they could not conceive a child in the “normal way”. However, the actual truth is that their bodies are amazing! How strong are their bodies that undergo all the diagnostic testing, the hormonal treatments and the implantation process and THEN carry a baby for 9 months? The body is a miracle of strength, determination and healing.

Can you choose to honor your body throughout the infertility treatment?

Another choice that a woman or a couple can make on this journey is to honor the relationship with herself and with each other. Set an intention at the beginning of this process to honor whatever you are feeling and to commit to open communication. Compassion for yourself and/or your partner during this process is an essential part of the sacred journey. It’s OK if you feel sad or frustrated or angry. You don’t have to push these emotions away. Focus on creating a safe place to allow all the feelings and to support each other. Focus on making your relationships stronger through love and understanding.

Can you choose to approach this process from a place of acceptance for all of the emotions and a commitment to an even stronger relationship?

An integral part of a strong relationship involves healthy sexual intimacy. However, sexual intimacy can be negatively impacted by infertility treatments. As the process to conceive leaves the bedroom and moves into the medical office, an intimate connection can be lost. Sex on a demanding monthly schedule can take all the fun out of sex. Choosing the sacred path reminds a woman and a couple to choose connection, satisfaction and pleasure over performance and efficiency. Yes, adhere to the schedule, but remember to be in the moment experiencing the touch, the pleasure, the connection. Try to focus on the sensations and release the outcome. Otherwise, if the focus shifts to performance and efficiency during infertility treatments, loss of sexual intimacy can last long after the baby arrives.

Can you choose to protect the sexual intimacy in your lives by committing to focusing on connection, satisfaction and pleasure?

Each life experience is associated with choices and the infertility journey is no different. The model that is presented to you is one of organized medical interventions optimized to lead to the result of a healthy baby. While you go through this treatment, you get to choose how you want to experience this journey. How would you like to honor your body, your relationship and your sexuality during this infertility journey? Remember, you get to create your sacred journey.

It’s your choice.

Guest Author

Dr. Sonia Wright is a sexual counselor, life coach, and medical doctor. She is the Midlife Sex Coach For Women. She is on a mission to end the emotional pain and isolation associated with sexual difficulties and help women create the sex lives of their dreams. She offers online individual and group coaching services.

Nicole Lange

LICENSED ACUPUNCTURIST
HOLISTIC FERTILITY EDUCATOR