THIS SINGLE CONCEPT CAN RADICALLY IMPROVE YOUR FERTILITY
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How can you get pregnant faster?
It’s such a common fertility question. Whether you’ve been trying for three years and are doing everything in your power to make sure your upcoming IVF works, or you’ve been trying 6 months and are starting to slide down the rabbit hole of infertility OCD, there’s a hugely overlooked aspect to getting pregnant faster and with fewer setbacks and better fertility outcomes along the way.
This video and blog post will teach you the BIGGEST concept and perspective shift that improves all of those things, all together, no matter what your fertility diagnosis:
The Single Biggest Concept
“A fabulous and abundant whole life equals improved fertility and the baby you want.”
I honestly can’t even begin to explain how profoundly this concept can change even the hardest of infertility situations — even with legit medical conditions like ovarian decline, PCOS, endometriosis, male factor, and more. Even when the prognosis is poor, this concept makes a difference that you kinda have to experience to believe.
And here’s why.
Neuroception.
What the heck is neuroception you might ask?
Neuroception is our body subconsciously scanning — inside, outside, and in-between — four times every second to decide if we’re safe or not, and then directing the rest of our body what to do based on that data. Wow! Lemme break it down.
Four times every second — without you even thinking about it — your body is scanning:
Inside — Is your nervous system in ‘fight or flight’ or ‘rest and digest’ mode right now? Side note, acupuncture is a fabulous reset for this.
Outside — Does your current environment feel healthy and safe, or threatening and dangerous?
In-Between — Do your relationships — both in real time and also in your memory of recent interactions — make you feel regulated or disregulated?
If these subconscious scans tell us we have a reasonable balance of safe/not safe currently in our life, we will rest, digest, and reproduce in healthy ways. It’s what psychologist call a sense of felt-safety.
But if these scans tell us we’re not so safe a lot of the time, we won’t have this sense of felt-safety. We stay in — or even escalate — our fight, flight, or freeze responses. We rest, digest, and reproduce less robustly. And this is the last place our bodies want to get pregnant. And if we do still somehow manage to conceive, it makes us way more likely to have a complicated and less healthy pregnancy.
Sounds simple, right?
But it’s not so simple in real life. Especially in the thick of trying to conceive. So, lemme lay it out again:
“A fabulous and abundant whole life equals improved fertility and the baby you want.”
And this concept is actually pretty dang revolutionary when you think of how TTC is typically done. Typical TTC involves:
Putting your life on hold to work on bits and parts
Clinics and care that make you feel like you’re always on high alert
Cycling between hope and despair without real emotional support, community, or connection
Strained relationships, misunderstandings, disconnect, and isolation
Feeling worse with each passing month as your buffers wear down
Overwhelm from too many appointments, suggestions, supplements
Confusion and contradictions galore
Scarcity stress from too many restrictions, eliminations, rules, deprivation
Tension, clenching, and control, from all the logistics, unknowns, and pressures
Less joy, rest, clarity, and peace
Inside, outside, and in-between, it all skews us into way too much threat. And it’s only because we’re so desperate for a baby and totally steeped in a broken whack-a-mole healthcare system that we tolerate it — we don’t even think about how messed up it is!
But it’s time for this to change. And when you shift your own neuroception, you positively change your own fertility outcomes, and you begin to demand fertility healthcare that is far more cutting-edge and person-centered. So inside, outside, and in-between, they ALL matter — a lot. Your whole is always greater than your parts!
This is my kind of fertility work.
After pioneering this kind of fertility work and shifting perspectives for the last two decades, here’s what I truly believe to my very core.
When you approach infertility from a mind-body nervous-system approach — or what I call a truly holistic perspective — it is itself a form of fertility treatment and intervention. It may be different than the “typical path,” but it’s totally evidence-based and the future of best fertility care practices because it delivers the most ethical and best outcomes.
I’ll say it again because it’s so important. Changing your core belief about how your are trying to get pregnant is in iteself a profound treatment. And it might feel strange at first, because it won't feel like you're DOING. Instead, it’ll feel like you're BEING.
But you’ll start to BE regulated. You’ll start to BE safe. You’ll start to BE clear. You’ll BE more confident and competent along the way. And you’ll embody it all, which will make profound ripples in every possible cell and system of your body and every possible part of your life.
Imagine feeling safe.
Imagine your body feeling regulated.
Imagine feeling more deeply understood, connected, and cared for.
Imagine feeling clear and capable.
This alone might not be the only intervention you need. You may still need to add other treatments and tools to help with hormones or anatomy differences. But this shift is the single biggest and most important intervention, because without it, the other tools and treatments aren’t nearly as helpful or likely to work.
So, what do you say? Can you leave the typical path that frazzles and threatens your body, mind, nervous system, and whole life at every single turn? I know you’re going to thrive once you lean in. And it’s actually oh-so-doable. I’ve got an entire 90-day course to help you build from the ground up.
But to start, check out the above video if you haven’t already. It includes three powerful and supportive ideas that’ll give you even more inspiration.
[The following fertility ideas are excepts taken from my Single Biggest Concept video above]
Idea 1 — Baby Blinders
You’ve quite possibly spent months (if not years) being flooded with messages and experiences that tell you when it comes to your fertility, you have to focus on hormones, eggs, sperm, and nothing else. These messages come from books and practitioners and basically our entire culture, and they constantly push you towards anything but fabulous and abundant
Everything about (what I call) the ‘typical fertility path’ says just get through this. Put your life on hold. Sacrifice, sacrifice and sacrifice some more. Just get the baby, and THEN you can worry about putting your life back together. No pain no gain right!?
The typical path of fertility says to just focus on your ovaries, uterus, hormones, maybe a bit about sperm, and if the rest of your life falls apart that’s unrelated. Do you want a baby or not?
The typical path of fertility says supplements, pokes, prods, pressure, exhaustion, hormone manipulation, grief, loss, anxiety, strained relationships, tapped finances, career setbacks and SO much more are just sacrifices to the gods of fertility and par for the course. So suck it up and deal with it.
And on the typical path of fertility there are barrages of books, blogs, forums, doctors and even the vast majority of supposedly “holistic” practitioners that all end up bombarding you with tips and advice that actually make your life more stressed out and imbalanced, because they’re either solely focused on just one part of your body at the expense of another or they’re too overwhelming and stressful and unsustainable to tackle.
There are so many totally bogus reasons why these messages happen along the typical path of a fertility journey, but the bottom line is that the typical path of fertility struggles involves putting on something I like to call ‘baby blinders.’
The baby blinders are what make you think, “If it isn’t directly related to my ovaries or my uterus or a possible pregnancy — it doesn’t matter.”
The baby blinders say, “I’ll get back to my life once I have a baby. But for now, that’s all I can focus on — and I will focus with laser-beam-level-focus. So I will let the rest of my body, and my life, fall apart while I’m taking handfuls of supplements, doing weird vaginal steams, going to so many appointments, and feeling worse and worse — more anxious, more depressed, more desperate, and more side effects with every passing day.” Cuz baby blinders might even make you think maybe that’s necessary for this to work — which is nuts!
Baby blinders are a real thing on the typical fertility path, and that they move you away from whole, and fabulous, and abundant. And actually away from being more fertile too! So baby blinders aren’t only not necessary, they’re not helpful. At all. They’re actually hurting your odds.
Idea 2 — Nursery, House, and Neighborhood
When you wear baby blinders, you end up only caring about that one plane of your body. Let’s call that plane of your body your ‘nursery.’ The baby blinders route tells you to pimp out your nursery and focus everything you’ve got there. Every bit of time, energy, and resources are directed at your nursery alone.
What are your ovaries doing? Are your tubes open? How many eggs do you have on deck? Can you improve your egg quality? Should you change your diet to have a better lining? Can you force your partner to do things to improve their nursery equivalent too? How can you grow more eggs per cycle? Should you genetically test your embryos? Will going gluten free help? Do you need to make sure your lining is receptive and has the right proteins in it?
The focus is on your nursery, nursery, NURSERY.
Now, don’t get me wrong. Checking out and possibly making your nursery nicer is totally legit. Helping your nursery can be an important part of the solution for many people. This is a legitimate medical condition, and you very likely may need to focus on helping out your nursery to some extent. What I’m saying is the nursery doesn’t exist in a vacuum. It’s not like there’s just this one ‘room’ or part of your body that matters, and as long as that’s looking nice a baby will easily move in.
So, let’s say that one plane of your body is your nursery — which you do need to attend to — but the rest of your body is the rest of the ‘house.’ And your life and greater world and relationships are your ‘neighborhood.’
With the baby blinders on, you put everything you’ve got into your nursery alone. Meanwhile your foundation crumbles. A squirrel moves into your attic. And both your furnace and your air conditioner are on the fritz. And sure, you’ve made your ovaries do exactly what you want them to do, while you’re anxious, not sleeping, having headaches, night sweats, hot flashes, and feel totally crappy. And then you wonder, “Why doesn’t a baby move in already?! My nursery is perfect! My doctor even told me so!” But your house is now falling apart — and that matters.
And what about your neighborhood? Again, with the baby blinders on you put everything you’ve got into your nursery, while you’re at war with your next door neighbor, or turn into a total shut-in and are driving yourself absolutely nuts comparing your life with the Joneses, who just happened to pop out their third kid.
Again, you make your lining fluffy and lovely and create perfect grade-A embryos, but here you’re increasingly disconnected and at odds with your partner, grieving silently, lonely, invalidated, and feeling like a failure. And you wonder, “Where’s the freakin baby?! I’ve done what I can here. My nursery looks great!” But your neighborhood is falling apart too — and that matters.
DO you see the problem?
When you do things that make you feel like you’re constantly imbalanced and threatened, you’re actually making it harder for your body to get pregnant.
You’re creating a bunch of one step forward and two steps back. If you take off the baby blinders first, and then decide how to tackle your nursery issues, while also keeping your eye on the big picture and your whole life and body and mind, it’s so. much. better.
Idea 3 — The Baby You Want
A lot of you are thinking, “Nicole, the baby I want would have been born, oh, say 9 months ago and came out of my uterus bearing my DNA. Period. But I’m here to remind you that THAT baby is actually the bare minimum baby. And although you may have gotten to the point where you’d happily take bare minimum, that’s not the baby you really want.
I’d bet anything, what you really want, and what you wanted when you started on this path, is so much more than bare minimum. You want a baby with a strong start, born from abundance and health, to a thriving mom who is resilient and joyful, who knows herself and who can teach this new little being the same. What you really want is a baby who has community. Purpose. A world filled with love and compassion and kindness and balance and fabulousness. In other words, you want whole kit-and-caboodle baby. It’s just a testimony to the soul crushing, mind numbing rottenness of infertility that you can lose sight of this and end up in a place where bare minimum feels like it’s enough.
This shift from wanting whole kit-and-caboodle to settling for bare minimum is just one of the ways infertility is so much more brutal than anyone who hasn’t walked this path could ever know. None of this is one bit fair. It isn’t merit based. It isn’t effort based. And it does wear you down and feel like one compromise after the next.
I get why you might be willing to settle for any baby by now. I get why you might think you need to settle on your quality of life and mental health and relationship strains too. I know that the typical path — with the baby blinders on and the focus solely on your nursery — feeds into you getting beat down and settling in all sorts of ways. I know there’s not a lot out there suggesting that there’s even a tiny bit wrong with the typical path, much less that there’s actually an alternative.
But that is why this idea is so radical. Not only does this alternative path exist, but it’s doable and it’s better — which is amazing. It’s actually better for your fertility because, of course, you feeling less threatened and overwhelmed makes your body feel safer taking that leap into pregnancy. This alternative path exists and it can still bring you to the baby you really want — and the life you really want too. You just have to know it’s there and take it.
You can’t force abundance from a place of beat down scarcity. You can’t create something without first having the right materials to build it.
And that’s precisely why you have to have more abundance, and balance, and joy, and resilience, and community, and purpose, yourself first.
This isn’t about needing to be perfect. It’s about needing to move towards more balance instead of away from it, and trusting that’s the right way to move towards a pregnancy and through infertility. I don’t know where your personal tipping point is, but I do know that you can at least be moving towards it vs away from it. The baby you want is still possible. You don’t have to compromise or accept less. But you have to choose a different path to get there.
Enjoy these handouts.
I’ve included links below to a handout that has a review of these three ideas that goes perfectly with the video, as well as a really cool Life Wheel exercise that’ll help you look at other areas of your house and neighborhood that you may have been neglecting. You’ll start to see where you’ll get the most bang for your buck and broaden your fertility horizons by starting to cultivate some abundance as a whole.
And of course, these ideas are exactly what my 90 day course The Baby You Want is all about. You can be whole. You can be balanced. You can be abundant. And you can improve your fertility along the way. There’s a lifelong single investment membership option that includes 2 free coaching sessions with me, or a monthly subscription option if that feels like the better fit for you.
I’m so honored to be a part of each and every journey I am lucky enough to support — virtually or in person. I know how important this is to you — it feels like everything. Thanks again for taking the time to read this post today!
Warmly,
Nicole
Nicole Lange
LICENSED ACUPUNCTURIST
HOLISTIC FERTILITY EDUCATOR