LISTEN TO THE MEDITATION ↑

I’m so excited to offer you a better guided meditation for your embryo transfer.

I’ve supported a lot of transfers… over a thousand. Along the way I’ve listened to my fair share of guided meditations. And often, I don’t love them.

Here are a few problems I’ve noticed with popular IVF meditations.

1. They’re so specific (and reductionistic) they inadvertently cause stress.

Let’s start with an example. “Picture your beautiful lining! Know that your lining is perfectly prepared for implantation. Imagine your doctor expertly placing your healthy embryo exactly where it needs to be.”

At first blush, this seems harmless enough, right? But meditations like this create a laser focus on your bits and parts. On your lining. Your embryo. Your doctor. Which leads to worrying about all the individual things that might go wrong or may not be “perfect” in your IVF. What if you’ve worked really really hard and your lining still isn’t “perfect?” What if you’ve had FETs cancelled for lining issues and you’re worried it’s going to happen again? What if your embryo is graded less-than-ideal (as most are)?

And even if you have a great looking lining and a top-notch embryo, you’re probably doing IVF because getting pregnant has been a challenge. It’d be strange to picture everything working great. Suddenly a meditation for relaxation has become a catalyst for an anxiety-spiral and serious second-guessing. Ugh.

2. They peddle problematic magical thinking and use words like believe, visualize, and be positive.

If you’ve got a perfect lining, ideal embryo, and this is your first-ever transfer and you’re feeling 100% hopeful — that’s great. I’m thrilled when people genuinely feel hopeful based on real conditions. But the reality for most people doing IVF is generally a mixed-bag at best. Often, very real conditions like having a prior failed transfer, a history of pregnancy loss, only one embryo, etc, make a transfer feel hard, sad, pressure-filled, and guarded.

Pushing false positivity and suggesting that you can or must manifest or believe your way to a successful IVF actively harms you, your cycles, and your outcomes. It dismisses, devalues, and minimizes authentic emotions and makes people facing a medical condition feel like a failure when they can’t picture something or quite feel “the right way.”

And that hurts cycles in scientifically-proven ways. Denying reality triggers cortisol (the stress hormone) and activates your mid-brain (the fight or flight brain) which decreases blood flow to the uterus and blocks receptors for reproductive hormones like progesterone and estrogen. All of this hurts your implantation odds.

3. They use water sounds and imagery, like, “Picture yourself relaxing in a bath or at the edge of a stream.”

Now, you might think I’m crazy on this one, but hear me out. It’s true that nature, specifically water, is suuuuper relaxing for many people. But, do you know when water is NOT very relaxing? When you’re required to have a full bladder and are desperately trying to hold it and not pee on your doctor — enough said!

So those are the three main problems I have with so many IVF and embryo transfer guided meditations that I’ve heard over the years. And that’s why I made my very own holistic and evidence-based embryo transfer guided meditation instead!

Hearing enough meditations that made me cringe led me to create my own IVF meditation. And bonus, mine’s totally free and available for every person preparing for, or officially at, their big day! If you missed it, hit play at the top of this post.

How my IVF meditation is different.

My embryo transfer meditation has none of the above problematic no-no’s. And here are the three fabulous things it offers in their place.

1. It’s big picture!

Once you’ve made it to this part of the IVF process, it’s wise to trust your doctor to hone-in on your reproductive bits and parts. Let them use their amazing skill, knowledge, and experience to get you in the best place for your unique transfer with your unique set of circumstances. Remember, if you had to be perfect, we would be extinct!

So take your energy and deep desire to “do more,” and pour it into making sure your IVF feels safe, connected, special, and more whole-you. In my IVF meditation we’ll move through your whole body and mind with gentle kindness.

We’ll think about the people who love you, the people (and critters) you love, and the things that make you smile. We’ll luxuriate in big picture pieces that are decidedly not IVF specific. Because, as much as it’s medicine, IVF is also about life and love, and that fact deserves more attention in this reductionistic process.

2. It honors authentic thoughts and feelings!

Yes, we’ll celebrating the very real and genuinely exciting possibilities that your embryo transfer holds. Yes, we’ll do a happy little salute to all the intense logistics you’ve successfully navigated and hurdles you’ve cleared. There will be space for hope and joy where there’s real hope and joy. But in this meditation we’ll also acknowledge that IVF is really hard, and it’s normal to feel guarded — and that’s a-okay.

We’ll even make space for longing and grief. This shift is super healthy and ups your odds, because contrary to what our current culture might say, science shows that working with realistic thoughts and feelings decreases cortisol (stress hormones) and increases your body’s ability to be in rest, digest, and reproduce mode. In other words, getting real about IVF thoughts and feelings actually ups your IVF odds!

3. No sounds of water or talk of flowing streams!

My fabulous hubby specifically made music for this meditation that is intentionally water free, yet sufficiently nebulous and soothing. In other words, not only is there no water to make you have to pee, there’s no clear melody for you musicians in the crowd to get hung up on. It’s soft, it’s soothing, and quite spacey.

So those are my thoughts about the cons of so many embryo transfer and IVF meditations — and the pros of mine. All that’s left for you to do is give it a listen and share a link to this post on all your IVF forums and friend groups. Please enjoy!

I’m so honored to be able to support you in this important place,

Nicole

COMBINE WITH THESE FOR EVEN BETTER OUTCOMES

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Nicole Lange

LICENSED ACUPUNCTURIST
HOLISTIC FERTILITY EDUCATOR