EMBRYO TRANSFER MEDITATION - AN IVF GUIDED MEDITATION

LISTEN TO THE MEDITATION ↑

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I’m so excited to offer you a better guided meditation for your embryo transfer.

I’ve supported a lot of transfers… over a thousand. Along the way I’ve listened to my fair share of guided meditations. And often, I don’t love them.

Here are a few problems I’ve noticed with popular IVF meditations.

1. They’re so specific (and reductionistic) they inadvertently cause stress.

Let’s start with an example. “Picture your beautiful lining! Know that your lining is perfectly prepared for implantation. Imagine your doctor expertly placing your healthy embryo exactly where it needs to be.”

At first blush, this seems harmless enough, right? But meditations like this create a laser focus on your bits and parts. On your lining. Your embryo. Your doctor. Which leads to worrying about all the individual things that might go wrong or may not be “perfect” in your IVF. What if you’ve worked really really hard and your lining still isn’t “perfect?” What if you’ve had FETs cancelled for lining issues and you’re worried it’s going to happen again? What if your embryo is graded less-than-ideal (as most are)?

And even if you have a great looking lining and a top-notch embryo, you’re probably doing IVF because getting pregnant has been a challenge. It’d be strange to picture everything working great. Suddenly a meditation for relaxation has become a catalyst for an anxiety-spiral and serious second-guessing. Ugh.

2. They peddle problematic magical thinking and use words like believe, visualize, and be positive.

If you’ve got a perfect lining, ideal embryo, and this is your first-ever transfer and you’re feeling 100% hopeful — that’s great. I’m thrilled when people genuinely feel hopeful based on real conditions. But the reality for most people doing IVF is generally a mixed-bag at best. Often, very real conditions like having a prior failed transfer, a history of pregnancy loss, only one embryo, etc, make a transfer feel hard, sad, pressure-filled, and guarded.

Pushing false positivity and suggesting that you can or must manifest or believe your way to a successful IVF actively harms you, your cycles, and your outcomes. It dismisses, devalues, and minimizes authentic emotions and makes people facing a medical condition feel like a failure when they can’t picture something or quite feel “the right way.”

And that hurts cycles in scientifically-proven ways. Denying reality triggers cortisol (the stress hormone) and activates your mid-brain (the fight or flight brain) which decreases blood flow to the uterus and blocks receptors for reproductive hormones like progesterone and estrogen. All of this hurts your implantation odds.

3. They use water sounds and imagery, like, “Picture yourself relaxing in a bath or at the edge of a stream.”

Now, you might think I’m crazy on this one, but hear me out. It’s true that nature, specifically water, is suuuuper relaxing for many people. But, do you know when water is NOT very relaxing? When you’re required to have a full bladder and are desperately trying to hold it and not pee on your doctor — enough said!

So those are the three main problems I have with so many IVF and embryo transfer guided meditations that I’ve heard over the years. And that’s why I made my very own holistic and evidence-based embryo transfer guided meditation instead!

Hearing enough meditations that made me cringe led me to create my own IVF meditation. And bonus, mine’s totally free and available for every person preparing for, or officially at, their big day! If you missed it, hit play at the top of this post.

How my IVF meditation is different.

My embryo transfer meditation has none of the above problematic no-no’s. And here are the three fabulous things it offers in their place.

1. It’s big picture!

Once you’ve made it to this part of the IVF process, it’s wise to trust your doctor to hone-in on your reproductive bits and parts. Let them use their amazing skill, knowledge, and experience to get you in the best place for your unique transfer with your unique set of circumstances. Remember, if you had to be perfect, we would be extinct!

So take your energy and deep desire to “do more,” and pour it into making sure your IVF feels safe, connected, special, and more whole-you. In my IVF meditation we’ll move through your whole body and mind with gentle kindness.

We’ll think about the people who love you, the people (and critters) you love, and the things that make you smile. We’ll luxuriate in big picture pieces that are decidedly not IVF specific. Because, as much as it’s medicine, IVF is also about life and love, and that fact deserves more attention in this reductionistic process.

2. It honors authentic thoughts and feelings!

Yes, we’ll celebrating the very real and genuinely exciting possibilities that your embryo transfer holds. Yes, we’ll do a happy little salute to all the intense logistics you’ve successfully navigated and hurdles you’ve cleared. There will be space for hope and joy where there’s real hope and joy. But in this meditation we’ll also acknowledge that IVF is really hard, and it’s normal to feel guarded — and that’s a-okay.

We’ll even make space for longing and grief. This shift is super healthy and ups your odds, because contrary to what our current culture might say, science shows that working with realistic thoughts and feelings decreases cortisol (stress hormones) and increases your body’s ability to be in rest, digest, and reproduce mode. In other words, getting real about IVF thoughts and feelings actually ups your IVF odds!

3. No sounds of water or talk of flowing streams!

My fabulous hubby specifically made music for this meditation that is intentionally water free, yet sufficiently nebulous and soothing. In other words, not only is there no water to make you have to pee, there’s no clear melody for you musicians in the crowd to get hung up on. It’s soft, it’s soothing, and quite spacey.

So those are my thoughts about the cons of so many embryo transfer and IVF meditations — and the pros of mine. All that’s left for you to do is give it a listen and share a link to this post on all your IVF forums and friend groups. Please enjoy!

I’m so honored to be able to support you in this important place,

Nicole

COMBINE WITH THESE FOR EVEN BETTER OUTCOMES

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Explore all of my online education options and see what feels like the best fit for you

Nicole Lange

LICENSED ACUPUNCTURIST
HOLISTIC FERTILITY EDUCATOR

• VIDEO TRANSCRIPT

  Embryo Transfer - IVF Meditation

  by Nicole Lange

  Please do not listen to this meditation if you are not in a safe place to close your eyes and fully relax. 

  This is the Embryo Transfer IVF Meditation by Nicole Lange.

  As you’re preparing for embryo transfer, congratulate yourself for making it this far in the IVF process and for taking time to pause and listen to this guided meditation. 

  Whatever your path through IVF has been, making it to this stage is a huge accomplishment. You’ve cleared so many hurdles to get here. You’ve done so much. Making it to an embryo transfer is authentically celebration worthy. Be with that joy and hope when you can. It’s real. 

  Still, nothing is guaranteed here. And some big unknowns and hurtles remain. It’s okay to acknowledge this reality too. Healthy thoughts and emotions are ones that are realistic and honored.

  It is healthy to take some time to be with all of your thoughts and feelings as they swirl and constantly change.

  Often IVF feels like your heart and mind are playing a physical, mental, and emotional pingpong game. The excitement and hope at the possibility. The good news. The progress. And the worries and guardedness, the hard times, and the unknown.

  Of course you feel it all. You’re human. That is whole and healthy and yes, complicated. Really trust this fact.  Healthy emotions are realistic and worked with — not shoved down or denied.

  So let’s take this time to simply be in this authentic moment whatever is coming up here and now. Starting with a breath.

  Take a moment to get comfortable. Soften your gaze or close your eyes. Now starting at the very top of your head feel it start to relax. Soften your forehead. Notice the areas around and behind your eyes, and release any tension you can.

  Breathe and release.  

  Wrap your attention around to the base of your skull. Relax the sides and back of your head. Let the back and bottom of your head feel heavy.

  Now notice your ears, your mouth, and your jaw, and relax any tension here too. If it’s comfortable to do so, tighten your mouth and jaw for a moment and then let it release.

  Let your whole head start to feel calm as all of these muscles soften. Loosen your jaw a little more. Let your tongue relax inside your mouth. If your eyes aren’t already closed and they're feeling heavy, let them close.

  And take another breath.  

  Your mind has had to hold so much as you’ve navigated fertility challenges and IVF. But in this moment everything is taken care of. You don’t have to know any more than you do right now. Rest your mind and feel proud of how you’ve handled all the logistics, thoughts, and feelings along the way.

  You’ve landed right here in this calm, safe, supported moment. That’s a wonderful thing.

  Moving on to your neck and shoulders, inhale and tighten them, and then exhale and let the tension go here too. Let your neck relax. Let your shoulders sink.

  Breathe in and exhale again.

  Feel your arms getting heavy. Feel your elbows, forearms, wrists, palms and fingers. If it’s comfortable, curl your hands into a tight fist for a moment, then release and let them relax.

  Inhale, exhale, feel your arms just be. 

  These arms have longed to hold a child. Maybe you’ve suffered pregnancy loss. Maybe you’ve never been pregnant. Whatever your story it’s okay. If you need any proof that you still have plenty of hope, look to the fact that you’re here. 

  You wouldn’t be here without hope. That’s doesn’t mean this is easy, or that you have to feel positive or certain. Whatever you feel is a reflection of every moment that has brought you to this tender moment.

  There’s a quieter kind of hope here. And yes, possibility too. That’s enough. Honoring this reality is beautiful. 

  Moving into your chest, gently notice the expansion and contraction of your lungs. Notice the rise and fall of your breath.

  Feel your upper, mid, and lower back expand as you breath. Let your ribs stretch in every direction. Send your breath to your spine, strong, yet flexible. Know that you are strong, yet flexible too.

  Now, breathe once more into your chest. And then breathe even deeper into your abdomen.

  A lot has had to happen within your body to get you to this moment. Whether your path has felt relatively smooth or way harder than you imagined. No matter what you had to let go of or adjust along the way. You are here.

  Each breath, each step has allowed you to arrived at this moment. Your breath will continue to take you forward into the next moments and next steps too. 

  So simply be here with your breath. Breathe in, and out. In an out.

  Your breath is a priceless tool. You can always come back to this awareness.

  Now imagine breathing down into your lower abdomen and pelvis. Breathe in light and love. Breathe out worries and pressure.

  Just for this little while, allow the pressure and worry to loosen or fall to the background. Not because you need to get rid of it, but because it’s nice to give yourself a break.

  Small moments add up.

  And in this moment you are safe. You have everything you need. You are as ready as you need to be. You have chosen to take this moment to be real and invite in peace and perspective. Remember, at the heart of IVF, beyond the hormones, scans, and procedures, this is about family and love.

  I'll say it again. This is about family and love.

  So take a moment and think about the love, support, and abundance you already have in your life. The people who love you. The people you love. Things that give you joy. Beloved pets. Things that nourish your body and mind. Things that make you smile and build you up.

  Remember, these are at the heart of you and your IVF and your life. They're what you hope to share with your future child. And they will continue to be yours no matter how this IVF unfolds.

  There is abundance here. It is a powerful choice to notice abundance within a process that makes it all too easy to worry and focus on scarcity.

  It is a powerful choice to cultivate gratitude here, especially when times feel intense. These are things you control. Never forget that. You always have power. Even at the brink of unknowns of an embryo transfer and IVF, you still have power. 

  And now, if it’s comfortable to do so, move your hands so your fingers rest on your lower abdomen. Feel it rise and fall. Soften your backside. If you’ve done any shots here send some extra gratitude and release any clench you might be holding there.

  Breathe in, and out. Soften, and relax.

  And move down to your thighs, let the tops and backs of them feel heavy. Move to your knees and feel them soften. Feel all the places where your legs are touching the surface you're sitting or lying on, and let yourself sink a little deeper. Relax your calves, front and back. Let your ankles feel loose. 

  And finally let your relaxation move into your feet. Breathe down between the bones and across the ligaments until your feet are soft and relaxed. Wiggle your toes, then curl them tightly for one breath. And release to let go of the final bit of what you can let go of right now. Feel both heavier and lighter from your head to your toes.

  Now repeat these mantras, 

  “It’s like this now.” 

  "Whatever I feel is whole, human, and perfect."

  "There is nothing I need to conquer."

  "There is nothing I need to change."

  "I am complicated, perfect, and powerful."

  "I put my energy into things I can control."

  "I choose love and abundance."

  "I choose authenticity."

  "I am as ready as I need to be." 

  As this meditation comes to an end, either in your mind or in real life, cross your arms over your chest and give yourself a hug or a reassuring pat on your shoulders. Remember that every breath and each moment will continue to move you forward.

  The music will continue to play. Take whatever time you need to come back to any idea that resonates with you.

  When you’re ready open your eyes, wiggle your fingers and toes, and know that you are perfectly prepared and ready for your embryo transfer and whatever unfolds.