HOW CAN I MAKE MY EMBRYO TRANSFER SUCCESSFUL?
Welcome to your post-embryo transfer tips treasure trove!
First off, thank you for inviting me in to be part of such a personal and special experience — your embryo transfer. Whether you're here because I’m supporting you directly in-person as a patient, or you stumbled across this post while searching for ways to increase your IVF success rate, I’m so glad you’re here. I’ve got so much to share!
I know that when you think about the question, “How can I increase my IVF success rate after embryo transfer?” you might expect a list of tips like: sleep in a specific position, or eat these foods but avoid those, or exercise a certain way, or don’t exercise at all, or even avoid stress and just stay positive.
But guess what? Those tips won’t actually help. In fact, they may even harm your odds, and I’ll explain why in a minute. First, let’s start with a better approach. Let’s focus on big questions that will truly improve your odds of success:
How can you help your body and mind spend more time in "rest, digest, and reproduce" mode after the embryo transfer?
How can you create a safe and resourced environment for embryo implantation to take place?
How can you protect your mental health and quality of life during this IVF and embryo transfer journey?
The correct answers to these questions are what will actually help you on this path since these are the Q&As that up your pregnancy odds — and that’s what this post is all about!
Why traditional IVF tips aren’t helping.
Before we really dig in, let’s pause to do a little thought experiment. Imagine how it might feel to have to do (or not do) specific things in order to “make your embryo stick” — a constant checklist of all-or-nothing things to add and avoid, maybe with even some universal force watching from above to see if you follow the rules and should get a baby. For example, check out these real tips floating around out there:
Don’t raise your heart rate above 135 bpm, but be sure to keep moving and stay active
Keep your feet and uterus warm, but don’t get too hot and increase your core temperature
No orgasms (don’t worry, there’s a fun story about this one!)
Eat pineapple core and drink pomegranate juice, but also try to only eat and drink warm and cooked foods
Don’t lift anything over 10 lbs, drink coffee, have a sip of alcohol, eat too much gluten or sugar, but still be sure to live a “normal” life
And — of course — minimize stress and be positive
Overwhelmed? Confused? Stressed out? Yeah, I thought so!
Here’s the truth: These tips are based on myths and have no real scientific backing. In fact, they often only cause stress, which can hurt your chances of success, and THAT is scientifically backed.
Side note: Stress is a huge topic. And while some level of stress is normal, it’s important to work with your stress, which I’m about to teach you all about.
So, let’s get back to what does improve your chances. Here are loads of truly holistic tips that will actually help.
The Big-Picture: You-Centered tips to improve IVF success.
The key here is to let go of specific check-lists and absolutes, and instead lean into seeing the big-picture. Think of every moment you have from now until your pregnancy test like a part of a looong math equation. If you can encourage your body and mind to feel more safe, nourished, validated, educated, empowered, connected, and supported in more little moments with your individual choices, you’ll spend more of your time equation in the optimal state for fertility — that’s rest, digest, and reproduce.
This isn’t about reaching perfection. It’s not about preventing all stress. It’s about learning to work with it.
You don’t need to feel worried about spending time in fight, flight, or freeze mode. You just have to recognize when you are, and know how to reset and come back to safe and centered. Over and over (and over) again!
And — great news! If you do get a positive pregnancy test, you’re gonna continue to do that over and over for another two days. Then two weeks. Then two months. Then 18 years. Which is actually quite sweet AND doable.
So, here’s a helpful guide to keep coming back to. Be sure to bookmark it, share it with friends, and revisit whenever you need a reminder. The more people who get this whole-person IVF guidance, the better IVF becomes for everyone.
What’s covered in this post.
Overcoming Worry About Doing Something Wrong
How to Read Your Body’s Symptoms (Without Obsessing Over Them)
Authentic Ways to Be More Zen and Reduce Stress
Do You Crave Concrete Advice
How to Cope with Feelings of Sadness, Stress, or Distraction
Understanding Implantation Timing and Science
DIY Acupressure for Post-Transfer, Anxiety, and More
How Acupuncture Fits in Post-Transfer and Pregnancy
When to Test at Home: Pros and Cons
Dealing with Constipation
Resources for Partners Struggling or Feeling Out of Sync
Bonus: Bleeding During IVF Pregnancies — A Helpful Thing to Know In Advance
1. Overcoming Worry About Doing Something Wrong
I adore the mantra, “We would be extinct!” It’s a handy reminder that throughout history, our ancestors didn’t have access to the list of “must-do’s” people recommend today — and yet, we’re still here! If you listen to your body and practice moderation, you’re doing great.
Also, if you’re worried about lifting things, activity, etc, think about those ancestors again. They were riding horses, walking long distances, and lifting.
And if you just can’t shake the feeling you have to be positive, believe, manifest a baby, visualize yourself pregnant, or eat a magic food, the check out this Fertility Myths & Magical Thinking sample video lesson from my online course, The Baby You Want.
2. How to Read Your Body’s Symptoms (Without Obsessing Over Them)
The first few days after transfer are often a calm, hopeful time. But as the days pass, hyper-vigilence will creep in. You might start… ahem… noticing every twinge, cramp, or breast change.
If this is happening to you, try out another favorite mantra, “All I know is that I don’t know.” The truth is, hormonal changes from IVF make it nearly impossible to decipher what’s going on in those early days. So, let go of trying to ‘know’, and focus on staying present.
And watch my Cramps & Twinges in the 2ww video for a breakdown of even more ways to understand different signs and symptoms during this vulnerable part of your embryo transfer cycle.
3. Authentic Ways to Be More Zen and Reduce Stress
Stress is an unavoidable part of IVF, but it doesn’t have to be your enemy. Simply notice each present moment and try to enjoy or create more abundance, peace, and joy where you can. This will tell your body it’s safe and supported, which makes your body saying ‘yes’ to pregnancy much more likely.
Here’s just a starter list:
Watch funny movies and TV shows
Cuddle with pets or loved ones
Spend time in nature
Eat favorite foods
Create, dance, sing
Talk with a friend
These can all help soothe your nervous system. And here’s a couple of fun facts:
One study found that people who were entertained by medical clowns after embryo transfer had better pregnancy rates
Research suggests that even if you fall asleep during a meditation, it still registers in your body and brain
On the flip side, our nervous systems can easily be “misled” too. So try to skip the optional scary, gross, or murdery entertainment for just a couple weeks. And if you still find yourself feeling stressed about stress, head on over to my What You Should Know About Stress and Fertility video!
4. Do You Crave Concrete Advice
If you’re working on feeling more zen and thrive with having more of a project or activity, consider adding one or both of the following
The seven day Banish Fertility Burnout Mini-Course has daily videos, exercises, and nightly reflections to help anchor your efforts. The program helps you build up your emotional and physical buffers so you can have more bandwidth to navigate whatever’s next on this fertility journey you find yourself on!
Complete my IVF and the Dreaded 2WW Gratitude Exercise. Gratitude is a great way to remind yourself of what you want to share with your future child, as well as what you have — and will still have — no matter what. It’s a win, win.
5. How to Cope with Feelings of Sadness, Stress, or Distraction
It’s so easy to fall into the trap of thinking that every emotion and reaction during your IVF process must be perfectly “positive” or “zen” in order to succeed. But here’s the thing — it’s not about avoiding stress, or the rest of your history and life. It’s about how you relate to it all and your overall equation.
Let me break down each of these worries. Start by watching my Am I Too Guarded, Sad, or Distracted to Get Pregnant video. Then, I also highly recommend watching this Stress Reframe TEDTalk: Making Stress Your Friend. It’ll show you why healthy outcomes — including pregnancy — are far more about how you handle stress rather than trying to avoid it altogether.
And when that critical voice in your head still says you're failing at conquering stress, be kind to yourself with the mantra, “I’m being human.” Of COURSE you’re feeling intense emotions right now. You’ve been through a lot on your fertility journey. IVF is no small thing, and the outcome of this cycle feels huge. Anyone would be feeling stress in your shoes. Remember, self-compassion is the gift you can give yourself during this time.
And I’ll say it one more time. It’s totally okay to feel all the feels. Simply come back to the ideas and activities from the list above that feel grounding and offset, offset, offset that stress!
6. Understanding Implantation Timing and Science
Understanding the science and timing of IVF can be incredibly reassuring. For example, bedrest was once a standard practice after embryo transfer. But with modern IVF approaches, it’s not necessary at all — and I can teach you why!
If you’re an LHL embryo-transfer patient with me, check back in your emails where I sent you my Embryo Transfer 101 video.
Not working directly with me? You can still access this video in my VF Insider Course. In addition to the implantation timeline video, I walk you through 4 big-picture lessons that will absolutely apply in the coming weeks of an embryo transfer. These concepts will help you create the healthiest possible environment for your placenta and set you up for the best IVF outcomes.
7. DIY Acupressure for Post-Transfer, Anxiety, and More
Want to know which acupressure points I most often use for transfers? Or to try DIY acupressure yourself? Check out my YouTube playlist DIY Acupressure for Fertility where I guide you through my favorite post-transfer acupressure points and how to do it.
Or, if you want a more complete resource to add acupressure points for loads of common symptoms like headaches, nausea, anxiety, etc, or for special situations like pre and post-transfer, you can get my DIY Fertility Acupressure Guide available in my fertility freebies. It’s such a great way to learn how to support yourself with acupressure at different stages of your IVF journey — and it’s free!
8. How Acupuncture Fits in Post-Transfer and Pregnancy
If you're wondering about incorporating acupuncture into your fertility journey, or pregnancy beyond IVF, check out my blog post When Should I Come in for Acupuncture.
In general, I recommend one acupuncture session around 3 days before your first pregnancy test — anxiety starts to get high and a reset and extra support is well timed here — followed by weekly or biweekly sessions through about week 10 of pregnancy. This helps set up the placenta and supports your mental health during those intense first months of pregnancy.
Feel free to reach out if you want to talk things through with me!
9. When to Test at Home: Pros and Cons
Home pregnancy tests have the ability to be both incredibly helpful and deeply triggering. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach! I cover pros and cons of testing early and give you tips on how to make the best decision for you in my TBYW TV Video.
10. Dealing with Constipation
Hormonal changes can cause some uncomfortable side effects — including constipation! But don’t worry, I’ve got a blog post explaining why constipation happens during hormonal changes and how to handle it gently.
11. Resources for Partners Struggling or Feeling Out of Sync
IVF isn’t just a solo journey. Partners often need support too. If they’re feeling out of sync or struggling with the IVF process, I’ve got some great resources to help you both reconnect and navigate this experience together. Check out my fertility posts on partners who feel helpless and also learn 3 steps for navigating infertility challenges together.
12. Bonus - Bleeding During IVF Pregnancies
I always like to mention just how common first trimester bleeds are in IVF pregnancies. Technically called SCH (subchorionic hematomas or hemorrhages), they can be anything from light spotting to big gushes (plural!) of blood. And listen up. They occur in as many as 50%+ of IVF pregnancies! The great news is — although terrifying — they often resolve and pregnancy chugs along. So make a mental note, and if you’re bleeding in your IVF pregnancy come back and watch my bleeding in early pregnancy video.
The Orgasm Story: A Real-Life Reframe
As promised, here’s one of my favorite stories and reframes from my early years in practice. It’s about a patient who had just transferred her final embryo after three failed attempts. She came into my office during the two-week wait, overwhelmed with emotion. Naturally, I assumed the worst — maybe she’d tested early or started bleeding.
When I gently asked what was going on, she burst into tears and said, “Nicole, I had orgasms!!”
At first, I was puzzled. So I kindly asked, “Okay, tell me more...”
She explained that her clinic had said absolutely no orgasms — pelvic rest and bed rest were strictly prescribed. But in the middle of the night, she had a very steamy dream and woke up mid-orgasm. She kept falling asleep, only to repeat the experience — three more times!
She was certain that it would ruin everything. But I gently pointed out a few big-picture things:
She didn’t intentionally induce the orgasm — it happened naturally during sleep and there’s no need to ever feel guilty about an unconscious bodily function
Her subconscious had clearly felt safe enough to experience that specific pleasure — which in my mind, was a positive and holistic sign of balance
Orgasms have actual health benefits — improved pelvic blood flow, increased endorphins, reduced cortisol, more oxytocin (In fact, research shows that having an orgasm the night before an IVF transfer, even without sperm or prostaglandins being involved, can improve the odds of success
She left my office feeling much better, though still anxious. A few days later, she tested positive, and nine months later, she gave birth to her first child. What’s even more wonderful is that, after continuing to work with me and doing more holistic work, she conceived naturally at 43 years old — without IVF.
I’ve shared this story with many clients, and at least a few have come back to tell me they, too, had orgasms in their sleep. One was during a dream of baking bread — yes please! They were glad to have my reassuring story in their minds. And do you know something? Every person I know who experienced this phenomenon has gone on to have a baby from that cycle. So… there’s always that ;)
A touch of sweetness.
Lest I end with an orgasm story, how about we wrap this up with a sweet idea shared by a patient who’d had a prior failed transfer. She shared that she wished she’d have honored her first embryo and transfer more — even though it didn’t stick — because maybe that was the most pregnant she’d ever be and that was a big deal.
For her second transfer, she promised herself no matter what, she would try cherish the time she had with that embryo — whatever time it’d be. She decided to spend her 9-day-wait taking her embryo to the zoo, to her favorite restaurant, and more. I love this so much.
You don’t have to force yourself to be joyful if that’s not where you’re at. But this story is such a lovely example of how you can live in an authentic “here and now,” and honor your journey. It’s not about being “perfect” in your emotions, but about finding a way to connect with the process in a meaningful and gentle way.
This journey is a lot, but you’re not alone. Take the time to honor your body and your emotions, and remember that every feeling you’re experiencing is valid.
Thank you again for inviting me into this part of your life. I’m cheering you on every step of the way.
With sticky thoughts and loads of love,
Nicole
Nicole Lange
LICENSED ACUPUNCTURIST
HOLISTIC FERTILITY EDUCATOR
Something more than just another buzz-word?