IT’S TIME TO RETHINK INFERTILITY

Dec 20

Better pregnancy and health outcomes for both mom and baby.

We’ve been sold on this idea that not only is it "okay" to get pregnant at the expense of our own health and well being, but that it’s totally normal to do this. Sadly, there are staggering costs to that approach — financial and otherwise.

Honestly, resulting lower pregnancy and live birth rates are just the tip of the iceberg when we prioritize a pregnancy above a person. I've got a bunch of citations and further reading at the end of this article.

Still, there are far too many things in the world of infertility telling us we need to put every ounce of our energy into focusing only on our reproductive bits and pieces, which causes us to lose focus on having a healthy and balanced whole life. We adopt immoderate, all-or-nothing lifestyle recommendations. We stop doing things that give us joy or relaxation. We feel increasingly disconnected, overwhelmed, depressed, and anxious. We basically spend increasing amounts of time in chronic stress mode being told we need to suffer through infertility and suck it up. And then, if we get a baby, it’ll all have been worth it.

But that’s the wrong way to approach infertility and it’s what I call a bare minimum baby.

Bare minimum pregnancy.

I’m not being dramatic and speaking in generalization. We can quantifiably measure that if you get pregnant the "typical infertility way," you will be at a higher risk for pregnancy complications like intrauterine growth restriction, preeclampsia, and placental abnormalities.

You are also quantifiably more likely to have a preterm birth and a baby with a low birth weight in pregnancies that are achieved this way. And those babies are quantifiably more likely to have growth and development delays and lifelong risks.

Furthermore, you will face negative mental and physical adverse outcomes that last well beyond a pregnancy. And it’s not just bad luck or a package deal. There are clear science-based explanations for why these things happen.

Of course, those are just some of the biggest pregnancy and baby health implications. When I opened up the registration page for my LIVE Q&A events numerous people immediately wrote to ask about how to deal with all the ways infertility was making their relationship feel strained.

And even after a baby, the people I see in my private practice often describe going back to their IVF clinic for a chance at another child after prior IVF success as super triggering. It’s like they’re a soldier returning to the site of a battle. And again, I’m not exaggerating. Even with a baby in their outcome, it's been estimated that 46% of people who do fertility treatments have PTSD.

I know this is hard to hear. I know that if you’re already in the thick of infertility it’s scary. But stick with me. I promise, there’s so much reason to hope and so much room to shift. Because of course, there is another way. And — spoiler alert — that’s what my practice and The Baby You Want course is all about.

But sadly, most people don’t know it’s even on the table. Sure, there are ways you can learn and focus on fertility science and technology — but they don’t tell you how to protect your mental health or marriage.

And sure, there are many places to learn and work on mental health and marriage strains — but they won’t tell you why having a better relationship can improve your hormonal function to up your baby odds and decrease pregnancy complication risks.

And yes, there are many providers or programs that'll load you up with natural and DIY treatment options for things like PCOS and diminished ovarian reserve — but all too often they end up shaming people for biological conditions and make using medications and fertility treatments feel like some personal failure.

Ugh.

Get radical in your fertility approach.

The radical way to up your pregnancy odds and move beyond infertility with less of all the bad outcomes and risks requires you to put it all together in a way that actually feels connected, whole, intuitive, and even (dare I say) empowering and enjoyable at times — which decreases all the risks.

Sound like a pipe dream? It's actually 100% DOABLE once you get some new ideas and a few big reframes in place. I’ve been doing it one-on-one with patients for 16+ years and it’s actually much easier compared to the alternative. So here’s a simple equation for changing your fertility and your pregnancy outcomes for the better — both together.

Science and biology

Holistic and natural mind-body medicine

Mental health protection and care

Reproductive technology when medically needed

Never picking one at the expense of the others

A real reduction in chronic stress, risks, and negative effects

That's how you get not only higher pregnancy and live birth rates, but less trauma, fewer relationship and mental health strains, a healthy baby, and a healthy mom! And that is the pregnancy and baby you want.

With love,

Nicole